Yeah, this is a no-fun, heavy post. You don’t have to read it. It just helps me to get it out.
I’m often asked by clinicians if there was a traumatic event in kiddo’s life. Apparently, they’re looking for a trigger for the OCD. I’m guessing the tendency was always there, but something brought it out.
The single traumatic thing in kiddo’s life has been school and peers – even some teachers too. Therapists ask if there was a death in the family or something. Nope. Just mean people.
We started noticing the OCD rituals when kiddo was in the 4th grade. He’d already been through 2 rather wicked teachers and minor peer stuff but the real nasty treatment began in the 4th grade. There was physical stuff and he was even punched in the nose that year but the lasting trauma came from the emotional abuse that he suffered through.
I’m no psychologist but I wonder if kiddo struggles with contamination fears now because he was told that he had an “uncoolness disease” then. How dumb is that? An uncoolness disease? I know, 4th grade mentality. But they treated him like he was disgusting and the most vocal of the bullies would tell others not to touch kiddo or things that he touched because they might catch the uncoolness germ.
So, can it be coincidence that kiddo now freaks out about germs and grease and gets upset when his siblings touch his things? I don’t know but it just feels like an echo of what he went through reverberates through our house now.
It makes me sad that mean words that were spoken years ago can damage a life and the lives around it for many years to follow and many more to come.