I know this is goofy, literally on the heels of my last post but it’s how I roll 😉 It doesn’t do anyone good to drudge around in the ditches of self pity, lol. So after a little self talk, here is what hit me:
Instead of mourning what was, celebrate what is.
So what is the was? The was that is gone is a boy that didn’t care about germs and grease and if you or his siblings washed “with soap?” before you touch him. A boy that ate his favorite foods instead of looking at them, deciding they are not worth the clean up and saying he “isn’t hungry”. A boy who didn’t have all of his siblings trained to run and wash as soon as they finish a meal and be sure to rinse their mouths out too. A more carefree boy and family. That is what was lost to OCD.
So what is? What can possibly be celebrated in the middle of this struggle? Well, a lot of things really. Mainly, that we have him in our life. He is ours, we are his and we love each other much. And that brings me to the biggest thing that can be celebrated because of OCD. Because of this disorder, I have seen true love and acceptance from his siblings. Love like many siblings never have a chance or reason to express. Love in the face of sometimes unloveable behavior. And I have seen gratitude of great magnitude on kiddo’s part. He is truly thankful to his brothers and sister for the smallest act of cleaning up or little considerations of his comfort. And I know we are closer and more bonded for what we overcome. And that is worth plenty.
In short, I think I see glimpses of heaven all the time. Unconditional love and acceptance, service and gratitude, divine and unconditional love. It is said that after our trials, we will be blessed, but I think we are also blessed through the trials too. I think we grow and become better through what we overcome.
With much love,